The Fifth Month Feedback

Hi there, long time no see! As I was testing couple of bootlegged DVDs that I bought for peanuts at the nearby shopping mall my wife just asked me how come I don't blog anymore. I told her that more than finding the time and motivation I don't know if anybody would care. As I moved my attention to the "source code" DVD, my wife softly said "well, I care". So, here I go.

They say that it takes an NRI 1 month for each year he/she had lived abroad to adjust to Indian conditions. According to that formula I guess it would take me roughly 10 months to settle down. But I do not honestly know if that would ever be enough. Before I move on to round up the good, bad and the ugly let me reiterate my "lighthouse" or the reasons we moved:

1. To be closer with immediate and extended family
2. Social environment for my son and wife
3. Vegetarianism
4. Finding my inner self

The good...

I would say the best thing about living in India is the temples. Having been deprived of divinity for nearly a decade, I have been busy travelling all over India. Thanks to my dear wife for giving me a "hall pass" to travel wherever, whenever, so far I have visited New Delhi, Hrishikesh, Haridwar, Tirupathi, Sringeri, Horanadu, and Kanchipuram. Living a Spartan life in holy places without a worry in the world, bathing and meditating in the river Ganges and river Tunga are experiences to behold for a life time. To my delight I had spent quite some time bonding with my childhood friends and family while travelling. One of the biggest hurdles for an NRI to move to India is the work culture. I find working in India to be a bit more fun than working in the US. I find my colleagues much more approachable and as a result I frequently hangout with them at and outside work - something I could never do with in the US owing to culture differences. It could very well be that the organization I work for could be an aberration but I am finding the work culture to be a non-issue. I find it comforting to see my wife and son socializing with numerous friends at our residential community. This fact alone makes our move seem worth it.

The bad...

The grey zone before the dense black forest of ugliness commences. I find it difficult to meet spiritually inclined people let alone enlightened pundits who would share the wisdom of Vedic knowledge. A majority of people living in India appear to me that they do not seem to care two-hoots about rituals, prayers and religious knowledge but more about amassing wealth, finding new ways to spend and worrying about sustaining those. A pundit in the US once warned me that Hinduism is dead in India and is truly alive in the US - I am starting to feel that he may be right. I am not sure if there is any place on earth where you could have so much to share and so much in common with the fellow man and yet you are consistently told how different you are from others. As someone who had been an outsider to the Indian culture for quite some time I am finding the culture to be way too much political and ego-driven. As some one who calls a spade a spade, I can honestly say that India will always be a third-world country - and I take much grief in saying so! From career standpoint I am beginning to like my new role as an individually contributing researcher as I take on challenging projects that gives me an opportunity to work with subject matter experts and cutting-edge technology. At the same time I could not help but feel that I am regressing in my career after putting a lot of effort over the past few years in honing my leadership skills and being a technical people manager. However the nature of the projects and fascinating portfolio of products in my company seem to tip the scale just enough to keep me interested. One more oh-not-so-good point that comes to my mind is that after receiving several blows to my uninformed head I am starting to understand that when it comes to family the tens of thousandths of miles between US and India is trivial compared to cracks in hearts. Some crevices are just too wide and just too deep to fill.

And yet I continue to remain optimistic!

The ugly...

We read about traffic in India, we talk about it but to witness it first hand is a flipping nightmare! And Bangalore has to be worst place in the world with horrible traffic and pollution. This brings to the next topic, health! In our family we seem to be taking turns getting sick on a monthly basis so far. It is something to celebrate if and when my son attends the entire week at his school. This brings me to the next topic - weather! Bangalore seems to be enjoying all four seasons, in a day (!) that again leads to health issues. Public hygiene or lack-of thereof is another point to crib about that is going to take quite some time getting used to. Whenever I travel long distance in Indian trains I feel like turning in to the grim-reaper character from Anniyan movie. It is almost impossible to travel to holy places with infants and women around in a civilized way. There appears to be no concept of hygienic restrooms along the way.

It’s about 5 PM on Sunday evening and I just got a word from my wife that the evening tea is ready! Its time to wind up my blog by saying that despite the negatives around I continue to look for positives and in the process, I am keeping myself optimistic. The thought of going back to the US had crossed my mind a few times when things went south but thanks to my wife for taking me out of it.

Back to the bootlegged DVD...Until later, Auf Wiedershehen!

The trip that changed everything

Blogging after a long time...Figured I'd try this again. :-)

Around the same time last year I had the job of my dreams where I was having breakfast in Vegas, lunch in NYC and dinner in San Francisco. I was working for a hi-tech firm with tremendous potential which gave me an opportunity to collaborate with some of the sharpest brains in the field of digital kiosks and out-of-home entertainment. Having spent an entire decade in the US, I had considered myself as an Indian on the outside and an American on the inside. I had little visibility in to India besides my immediate family since I barely spent a few weeks in India in the last 10 years of my life. I was whatchamacallit an "Indian Born Confused Desi". By the end of 2009 I had just finished my MBA from Cal-State and have been wanting to take a long vacation and spend some time with my family in Chennai. To my delight my Manager approved my request for a month off and there I was, packing our bags to enjoy India for the first time in a long time!

After a first few chaotic days, I settled down to a nice routine, enjoying mother's cooking and the warmth of friends and relatives. I and my brother packed our bags to go on a spiritual retreat and my life as I knew it took a swift turn (need to find out if it is for the best or worst). Ironically my brother had warned me prior to the trip that things will not be the same, which, I casually brushed off! It was indeed true! Things were never the same after that trip. I was out on the streets witnessing India for what it is. The fog of materialism had lifted, albeit temporarily, and I came face-to-face with the life of a common man in India. The chaos, the struggle, the warmth of people, the concept of "simple-living-high-thinking" made me do some soul-searching. Quoting Cobb from Inception: "What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere.” - an idea had been planted in my head - the idea to return to India - the idea that never once left my mind since my return from the trip.

So, here I am - with Green Card on hand - the holy-grail for every immigrant seeking the American dream - and about to let it go down the drain. I am returning to India with my family in a few weeks. I have come to realize that there are others on the same boat and as an aspiring returnee I have found some of the blogs extremely helpful in overcoming the dilemma, the n+1 syndrome, the paranoia and other usual deterrents of R2I (return2India) process. I have planned to blog our preparation/settling down process of returning to India including the challenges, concerns, solutions and impediments with the hope that other aspiring R2I'ers find it useful to take that one extra step required to come back to their motherland.

If you find this interesting, please visit my blog often to read more about our relocation process. You are welcome to leave your comments/bouquets/brickbats in the comment section underneath.