Finding Your Lighthouse

So you have been thinking about returning to India, not now, may be in a few months. Before you know it, months turn in to years and R2I largely remains a pipe dream because there has not been any significant progress on that front. Kids are in good schools, both you and your spouse have good jobs, you have a nice SFH in the suburbs and two newish cars in your garage. Why would you want to risk it all by moving to India? Besides, you are on your third EAD extension, your Green Card priority date is current and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place on deciding whether to get your US Citizenship before returning. Trust me, you are not alone! Been there done that! Yet for some unfathomable set of reasons you decide to R2I anyway. Before you do that, you may have to find your lighthouse!

Lighthouse is your rope, your guardian angel, comprising of sound, logical reasons for returning to India. Let's get one this thing straight - despite the economic prosperity India seems to be enjoying at the moment, the cold hard fact is that India is largely an impoverished, extremely corrupt, chaotic, over-populated, and poorly administered third-world country. India is still a developing nation and will continue to remain so in the next few decades. Here is why finding the lighthouse is vital because without it, the reality will hit you so hard that you will be spinning your way to the flight back to US in a few months. At the same time, if you have found your lighthouse, it will keep you focused amidst the deep-rooted corruption, uncouthness, blatant disregard for rules/regulation, inefficiency in everything etc. Having undergone the thought process recently, I know it is easy to skip this step to go straight to R2I process but based on what I have read and understood, skipping this step would lead to failure of R2I and hence, the inevitability of R2A (return2America).

Okay, so I spent a few weeks discussing with my better half and came up with our "lighthouse". Without further ado, here are our reasons for R2I:
1. Taking care of my ageing mother. I have a religious duty to take care of my mother as she approaches her old age.
2. Provide a social environment for my son. The other day I saw my son staring at the wall at around 5PM that brought tears to my eyes. I cannot imagine any kid in India being that lonely on a Saturday evening. Personally I feel that the social dynamics of raising kids in the US is just not suitable for Indian upbringing.
3. My better half, again, is a social animal. R2I was easier for us because my wife was 100% bought in to the idea. I was the one who needed to be persuaded with my analytical thinking, logical reasoning and all that junk. ;-)
4. Stability in personal and professional life. US is a great place to work on bleeding-edge technology but career path wise, it can be pretty frustrating due to the immigration restrictions. You are tied to your employer until your residency gets approved, which, would eat up anywhere between 4-6 years depending up on how courageous you are. Until GC arrives, it is challenging to have a "stable" life. And if you are married with kids and you are in late-20s or early 30's, stability becomes a vital factor in your life.
5. Vegetarianism. I kid you not; there are some fast food places in my neighborhood where the employees would start changing gloves and washing hands at the very sight of me. Vegetarianism is a challenging concept for Americans to comprehend in general. And if you are uber picky like me, who would ask whether the cheese contains animal or microbial enzymes, you have a problem! Both US restaurant industry and I are tired of me asking a million times or more whether the food has any meat products. Ergo, the frequency of eating out becomes limited. In fact, I can extend this concept to socializing because a poker game with the guys comprises of beer and barbeque ribs. Do the math!
6. Cricket! I do not claim to be the athletic type but God knows me and my wife love watching and playing cricket. In India, you eat, drink, bathe and sleep cricket! I married my wife because she loves cricket! ;-)

Now that I have stated my lighthouse allow me to shed some light on the reality of living in/moving to India:
1. The years of righteous-nous and ethics that you have learnt in the US do not apply in India. Be prepared to grease the palms of government officers if you ever want to get things done. You can choose to rebel at your own peril.
2. Be prepared to run from pillar to post to get anything done. Couple of days ago I had called US Social Security to adjust a critical error found on my benefits letter. It took me a phone call to register a call-back, which, I promptly received in a few minutes. The agent was helpful and courteous who took my credentials and fixed the error! I can imagine running from village panchayat office to thasildhar office in India if I had wanted to get the same thing done. YMMV!
3. Just because you were educated in the US and have some work experience, you will not be given the title of CIO, a private jet, a Bentley and a 40L CTC/salary. On the contrary, Indian IT industry is fairly competitive and you will be competing against some really sharp brains. You do however, have edge in terms of communication skills and knowledge on niche bleeding-edge technology and it is up to you how you sell yourself to the prospective employer. Gone are those days when NRIs used to get welcomed with red carpets and flower garlands. There are three schools of thoughts on jobs and R2I. The first case is inter-company transfer, which, is the best possible way to R2I. The second case is having an offer on hand (if you are lucky and if you have good contacts) before relocating. I would recommend that you look for jobs before you move. Even if you do not find a job, it will help you understand the nuances of complex Indian job market. The third case is moving to India and then looking for a job. In my analysis, I felt that I was better off finding a job before moving instead of competing with 10 million other candidates.
4. CTC is NOT equal to salary. In the US, the take-home pay is the net amount less taxes, social security, insurance premium, state tax etc. According to Indian salary structure, salary is just a portion of CTC. So you may think you got a really good CTC but the amount you would receive on hand can be quite different from your expectations. Watch out!
5. Find a job closer to where you live. Or, live close to work. Otherwise, you will get frustrated with the hours you spend on traffic and eventually, you will R2A. If you own a home that is 35 KMs from your office, rent your home and get a rental home.
6. Traffic, pollution, water problems etc. are not to be taken lightly. Just tell yourself that you will brave the storm. Here is where the lighthouse becomes vital. Always focus on the bigger picture.
7. In terms of socio-cultural aspects, from what I have read, there has been a paradigm shift in the ideologies of Indian populace. India is no longer the conservative society that we grew up and have gotten used to. I am not saying this is a problem, but this is something to think about if one of your reasons to R2I is to raise your kids in a conservative environment. In fact, I have heard from people that Indian kids in the US tend to be more "Indian" than kids raised in India with regards to clothes, culture, following traditions etc.
8. India has become extremely expensive. If you want to have an upper middle class life-style in India, you are better off with a seizable bank balance before R2I. If you goal is not to have a luxurious life but to have a “full-life” with whatever you get, then it should not be a real problem. We belong to the second category.

Sometimes it is the simple pleasures that make our lives more enjoyable. Here are some of the benefits of living in India:
1. Attending weddings and other functions where you could socialize with your friends and relatives.
2. Stopping ad-hoc at the curb to get a slice of water melon or “ilaneer” (tender-coconut juice) on a hot day.
3. Friends or relatives showing up at your door without announcing!
4. Watching a two-hour Tamil movie for four hours on SunTV with your loved ones!
5. Eating out whenever you want, without worrying about meat content.
6. Not driving 5 miles to get a pack of gum. Walking a few steps to get 50p gum from “annachi kadai” shop.
7. Eating “puli-sadham” (Tamarind rice) in Perumal Kovil!
8. Hanging out with childhood friends
9. Watching grand-parents spoiling your kids with affection.
10. Taking your spouse out on a dinner-and-a-movie date.

Priceless...

Anyway, let me wind up this long blog by mentioning how important it is to identify your reasons for R2I. If you do not discover your lighthouse, India will get to your goat. So, if you are thinking about R2I, have you found your lighthouse yet...?

The trip that changed everything

Blogging after a long time...Figured I'd try this again. :-)

Around the same time last year I had the job of my dreams where I was having breakfast in Vegas, lunch in NYC and dinner in San Francisco. I was working for a hi-tech firm with tremendous potential which gave me an opportunity to collaborate with some of the sharpest brains in the field of digital kiosks and out-of-home entertainment. Having spent an entire decade in the US, I had considered myself as an Indian on the outside and an American on the inside. I had little visibility in to India besides my immediate family since I barely spent a few weeks in India in the last 10 years of my life. I was whatchamacallit an "Indian Born Confused Desi". By the end of 2009 I had just finished my MBA from Cal-State and have been wanting to take a long vacation and spend some time with my family in Chennai. To my delight my Manager approved my request for a month off and there I was, packing our bags to enjoy India for the first time in a long time!

After a first few chaotic days, I settled down to a nice routine, enjoying mother's cooking and the warmth of friends and relatives. I and my brother packed our bags to go on a spiritual retreat and my life as I knew it took a swift turn (need to find out if it is for the best or worst). Ironically my brother had warned me prior to the trip that things will not be the same, which, I casually brushed off! It was indeed true! Things were never the same after that trip. I was out on the streets witnessing India for what it is. The fog of materialism had lifted, albeit temporarily, and I came face-to-face with the life of a common man in India. The chaos, the struggle, the warmth of people, the concept of "simple-living-high-thinking" made me do some soul-searching. Quoting Cobb from Inception: "What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere.” - an idea had been planted in my head - the idea to return to India - the idea that never once left my mind since my return from the trip.

So, here I am - with Green Card on hand - the holy-grail for every immigrant seeking the American dream - and about to let it go down the drain. I am returning to India with my family in a few weeks. I have come to realize that there are others on the same boat and as an aspiring returnee I have found some of the blogs extremely helpful in overcoming the dilemma, the n+1 syndrome, the paranoia and other usual deterrents of R2I (return2India) process. I have planned to blog our preparation/settling down process of returning to India including the challenges, concerns, solutions and impediments with the hope that other aspiring R2I'ers find it useful to take that one extra step required to come back to their motherland.

If you find this interesting, please visit my blog often to read more about our relocation process. You are welcome to leave your comments/bouquets/brickbats in the comment section underneath.